How Not to Organise a Book Launch

Close and Lock the Venue

Nothing says “Go Away!” more than a venue that’s not only closed (lights off, no signs of movement inside) but locked shut, unless you also:

Fail to Display Posters

Not only is the venue closed and locked shut but there’s no poster or sign on the door that the event is going ahead. In fact, the whole set-up screams “Cancelled!”

Even if warm and dry, it’s not a good idea to leave your audience hanging around outside, especially if there’s nowhere to sit because some people can’t stand for long.

Don’t tell the Audience which Entrance will be Open

For security or logistics, it might be that only one entrance will be used for the event. However, if the audience is used to all entrances being open or regularly use one of the entrances which will be shut on the night, a poster/sign would help.

It shouldn’t be left to audience members to suggest/tell event coordinators to check that no one’s been left standing outside a closed entrance either.

Don’t let the Audience know the Event’s Format

Will there be a reading? A speech? Or is the audience just supposed to stand around, mingle and hopefully buy a few books? Most of us don’t do telepathy and no one likes to be made to feel stupid and have to ask.

Assume the Audience are Alcoholic

Some of them will be designated drivers, some don’t like wine, may be recovering alcoholics or simply not feel like drinking. When alcohol drinkers have choice, but the non-drinkers are offered that one jug of warm water that only fills four wine glasses, it’s a good way of making them feel alien.

Only Allow the Audience to Buy Copies of One Book

Book launch audiences tend to be avid readers and book buyers. Why would anyone want to limit their choice to only buying copies of the book being launched, particularly when the launch is happening in a book store? A click or two on a smartphone app, they’ve bought those books from an online retailer, most likely while standing in the store (so they don’t forget which books caught their eye when they get home), and those sales are lost.

The actual book launch was brilliant. The venue… well I won’t be encouraged to hold a launch there.

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Adrian Mole’s 50th Birthday celebrated at Leicester University

Goody bag for Adrian Mole 50th birthday celebrationsLeicester’s famous fictional son turned 50 on 2 April and Leicester University held a party for him.

I didn’t get to the morning and early afternoon sessions – an illustration workshop and a discussion of Sue Townsend’s work as a playwright. I did get there for the later sessions which were billed as talks from John Tydeman, Geoffrey Strachan and Caroline Holden Hotopf plus Simon Schatzberger and the premiere of three new monologues commissioned by Leicester University’s Centre for New Writing and selected by Sue Townsend’s husband, Colin Broadway.

Bridget Blair of BBC Radio Leicester introduced the first session, remarking that it was also BBC Radio Leicester’s 50th birthday. John Tydeman wasn’t able to attend so Leicester University’s Simon Dixon introduced the Sue Townsend archive and explored how Adrian Mole came about. One boring afternoon in the 1970s, so boring “you’d fill in the ‘o’s’ in the News of the World” one of Sue Townsend’s sons asked “Why don’t we go to Safari parks like other families?” It’s not recorded what Sue Townsend answered, but his whiny voice was about to become Adrian Mole’s. She’d been mostly bored at school until a Mr Mole introduced her to reading, even so she was still to leave aged 15. She worked, got married and found herself a divorced mother of three at the age of twenty-three. She met her second husband, Colin Broadway, who discovered her manuscripts and persuaded her to join Phoenix Writers at what was then the Phoenix Theatre (now the Sue Townsend Theatre). She would write on whatever was to hand, even beer mats and shopping lists. When she was losing her sight, her husband and children typed from her dictation. On one occasion, Colin Broadway got a panicked call from their daughter. There’d been a power cut and had lost some work because the power cut kicked in before it could be backed up. Colin’s advice was to give Sue “a vodka and tonic, a fag and ten minutes.” Sure enough, after those three, she recalled everything and the dictation began again. She began writing plays and put together the original script for Nigel Mole aged 14 and three quarters which she sent to the BBC in March 1981. John Tydeman was worried about the name being too similar to Nigel Molesworth and thought 14 and three quarters was too old. Nigel became Adrian and lost a year. The BBC broadcast the script and got five agents phoning them interested in the work.

Geoffrey Strachan of Methuen publishers then took up the story. He was looking for comic novels suitable for illustrations and Adrian Mole seemed a good fit, “splendid, funny, touching and wonderfully evocative… with a playwright’s ear for dialogue and timing”. Sue Townsend felt it important that Adrian grew in real time and the first book stayed with him until his 15th birthday. The contract was signed in December 1981. Methuen felt that it was a tricky sell: a comic novel by an unknown novelist and so kept the cover price below £5. The BBC commissioned five more episodes in January 1982 for broadcast in the autumn. The book was due to be published as they were broadcast. Initially sales reps found it hard to get booksellers to take the book but after the broadcast, they couldn’t get stocks in quick enough. It’s since been translated into 40 languages and became the bestseller of the decade.

Caroline Holden Hotopf took up the story at this point. Geoffrey Strachan introduced her to Sue Townsend at the Royal Court Theatre without telling Sue that he was thinking of commissioning Caroline to design the book cover. He wasn’t aware that Caroline had also grown up in Leicester and, once Leicester was mentioned the two hit it off. Caroline shared Geoffrey’s view that there should not be any images of the main characters themselves – it was down to the reader to imagine them. “The tops of buses are a big place to think of ideas” and this time hit on idea of a bathroom mirror because it gave room for the book’s title and author’s name whilst still being able to capture Adrian at that awkward stage between leaving childhood and not quite being an adult. The bathroom taps on the cover of “The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole” were in her bedsit in Stepney where she was living at the time. She went on to do the illustrations for the deluxe editions and the record cover for the musical. Caroline remembered a long conversation with Sue Townsend about possible locations to use as representing locations in the books. In the question and answer session, Bridget Blair offered to try and locate that list, which is in the Sue Townsend archives, and take BBC Radio Leicester listeners of a tour of the locations later in the year. When Caroline received her copy of the record of the musical, she was baffled because one side played a Rolling Stones album although the other was Adrian Mole. She rang the record company who hurried her a correct pressing. She wondered how much the miss-pressed version would be worth.

Bali Rai brought some students from Moat and Madani Colleges in Leicester on stage. He had introduced them to Adrian Mole and tasked them with writing about their city in a Mole-like fashion. Four of the resulting pieces were read in turn, three by their authors. The first was a typical school diary written at the point of moving to secondary school and discovering that not only did the author have to tolerate her brother hogging the TV remote and glasses but also the indignity of braces. The second was about observations in the school library where the library became a metaphor for Leicester. The third was about the gatehouses on Victoria Park, seemingly an innocent consideration of what the gatehouses might have been for until a final twist where we learn the over-curious writer managed to climb in and now can’t get out and is hoping to throw her letter outside in the hope of being rescued. The final piece was read by Bali Rai, after confessing to being teased for being a Liverpool fan, as it started with a boy doing algebra with one eye on the football, thinking school next day would be full of post match analysis, is dismayed when the classroom is silent. The writer didn’t catch the news that there had been a bomber who called himself a Muslim. The silence was drawn from the classmates struggling to comprehend how someone could use the name of their religion to justify a horrendous act and how they could defend themselves from the anticipated backlash.

For reviewing purposes it makes more sense to bring Simon Schatzberger in now although, having to combine travel with other commitments, he arrived after the first monologue. Simon had done some children’s TV work in Nottingham so already had a Children’s Equity Card when he saw the advert for Adrian Mole at the Phoenix (now Sue Townsend) Theatre. It was purely happenstance that he’d rehearsed the section in the diaries about the Royal Wedding and that turned out to be the section he was asked to do in audition and few days later he heard he got the part. His experience so far had been in TV so he didn’t think it unusual to have Sue Townsend sitting in on rehearsals, doing required rewrites on the spot in her Berol Handwriting pen. Initially there was a canoeing scene and the actor playing Adrian’s mother wanted to go canoeing to prepare. Simon wasn’t a good enough swimmer then to join in and, after the scene got dropped, decided method acting wasn’t for him. Sue Townsend was hugely pleased to hear that some of the audience had come along because they knew the book and it was their first trip to a theatre. The play moved to London. Sue Townsend insisted on bringing the same actors to the West End rather than changing to more famous names. This was to her detriment because some critics snobbishly queried why she wouldn’t use “names”. Simon remembered breaking his arm in an accident on set and Sue Townsend make sure he’d phoned his own mother to reassure her and ensured he’d been able to eat dinner. On another occasion, they’d been given use of the producer’s chauffeured car, only to discover later that the use of the car had been charged to expenses, which meant the pot available to pay actors’ wages was reduced. Sue repaid the cost of the car so the actors wouldn’t lose out. One night she showed the cast a leather jacket she’d bought that day, dithered over whether to return it. She’d felt guilty about spending “so much” money on herself. The cast persuaded her it was really OK to keep the jacket. Later, at the end of the 1980s, Simon was asked to do an Adrian Mole monologue at Leicester’s Haymarket Theatre. He phoned Sue Townsend to ask her to write it. She told him that he knew Adrian so well, he should write it. He wrote a draft and phoned her again to read it to her and was surprised when she OK’d it. She said he shouldn’t be surprised, “I chose you to be Adrian Mole.”

From the reminsciences, Sue Townsend came across as very down to earth, motherly and committed. Once her husband, Colin Broadway, had shown support for her writing, there was no stopping her. However, she remembered her roots, as the guilt over the leather jacket showed, loved a good gossip, loved listening to people and getting involved in new experiences. Exactly the sort of person you’d love to meet in a theatre bar, knowing instantly you’d lucked out and hadn’t been lumbered with the pub bore.

The first of the three commissioned monologues was Maria Taylor’s “The Age of Convenience,” where Adrian Mole asks his mum what its’ like to have a son turn 50. “Her face fell the way Theresa May’s does whenever someone on the news mentions Nicola Sturgeon.” Later he notes, “Mum is a great-grandma now, but she has taken up social protest as a hobby. Other seventy-two year old women would’ve taken up crochet.” He rails against Giles, Pandora’s current squeeze, “who went to Oxford and drives a Porsche. What’s a wealthy, hunky, twenty-seven year old gym enthusiast got that I haven’t?” However, she is first to wish him a happy birthday.

Marilyn Ricci’s “Rocking On” sees Adrian the successful ghost writer, although still anxious about selling-out, on a birthday weekend in Skegness, potting to stop his mother making a birthday speech, still sighing over Pandora but able, after an incident involving a coastguard rescue to wonder if someone else’s salty, passionate kiss might lead him astray after all.

The final monologue from Heide Goody and Iain Grant, “Let Them Eat Custard Creams” is a letter from Adrian to the Arts Council who have turned the application for funds for his reading group down on the grounds “the amount we requested for refreshments was unrealistically high.” Who knew that the selection of biscuits for a book group would be an exact indication of the types of books under discussion? Adrian does and has graphs to back him up.

At this point it was time to collect our goody bags and break for tea. A buffet was laid on, decorated with moon-shaped balloons (the moon might have missed Adrian’s 4th birthday but it was represented at his 50th), with sandwiches, canapes, cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks stuck in a foiled dome to look like hedgehogs, fairy cakes, mini-doughnuts and the cake, made by Frances Quinn, a winner of Great British Bake Off, and accompanied by a mix of disco music included Rick Astley, Scissor Sisters and Andre 3000, the sort that’s easy to dance too but you feel slightly embarrassed to admit to knowing the tunes: a perfect choice.

Adrian Mole birthday cake

The importance of beginnings

I love that the opening line of the first poem in “Welcome to Leicester” starts “Leicester is alive”.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve read each poem in “Welcome to Leicester” prior to publication. Each poem submitted was read at least three times – once on receipt and twice (once silently, once aloud) at editorial meetings. Those that we thought were maybes where spread out on my table and arranged near poems they seemed to fit best with. This involved several re-readings as new poems were added to the maybe pile and poems were rearranged. All maybe poems were read again at our final editorial meeting as we decided which poems were actually going to be accepted. The accepted poems underwent several more re-readings as the typesetting was done. Some of these readings were detailed, checking spelling, grammar, whether commas were justified. Some readings were of the overall shape of a poem or how it sounded when read aloud. Since the anthology has been published, one thing I’ve not done is read it from cover to cover.

At the launch, I’d asked which contributors were available to come and read their poem. If everyone who said they were had turned up, the poetry readings would have taken 1 hour and forty-two minutes. Naturally on the day, some weren’t able to be at the launch so the readings part took an hour and twenty minutes. It was wonderful to hear the poems read in the poets’ voices and to hear audience feedback that they appreciated the range of subjects, styles, approaches and stories about Leicester arising from the poems.

The invitation to hold a “Welcome to Leicester” event to start the “Write On, a Leicester Writers’ Showcase” series which take place in Leicester’s Central Library on the third Wednesday of each month was a great opportunity. It was an informal, relaxed evening with a good turn out. Around 10 poets read their poems and, to keep to the agreed time slot, I read a poem from the anthology in between readings. This gave audience members time to absorb each poet’s reading and allowed some of the themes explored in the anthology to be teased out.

What was most intriguing was seeing the audience react, sometimes with nods of recognition, but mostlly with that stillness that suggests people are absorbed in listening. I had to remember that some were hearing the poems for the first time and those who were contributors hadn’t necessarily read all the poems so were hearing some poems for the first time too. My job was to introduce poets but, more crucially, also to allow a space between each poem, rather like the space around a poem on a page or that pause when pages are turned, so give each poem a fair hearing and not to rush the audience into the next poem. It was a privilege to do so.

The very last word of the final poem in “Welcome to Leicester” is “home.” That was not a happy accident.

“Welcome to Leicester” is available from Dahlia Publishing.

The next “Welcome to Leicester” event is at De Montfort University’s Clephan Building from 6pm on Monday 27 February as part of the Cultural Exchanges Festival.

The next two “Write On, a Leicester Writers’ Showcase” events are:

15 February “Lost and Found: stories from home” (Dahlia Publishing, 2016) featuring readings from writers whose short stories are in the anthology.

15 March Carol Leeming will be reading from “The Declamations of Cool Eye”. I reviewed “The Declamations of Cool Eye” here.

Both events start promptly at 7pm. Doors open at 6.30pm.
Welcome to Leicester poetry anthology book cover









To Review or Not to Review?

On the rare occasions I’ve had to turn down a review request, it’s generally been because I’ve already reviewed the book or poetry collection offered for review. However, news that Milo Yiannopoulos has signed a book deal with Threshold, made me seriously pause for thought. Milo Yiannopoulos is an editor at Breitbart News, led a harrassment campaign against the actor Leslie Jones, which led to him being suspended from twitter, and plagarised Tori Amos’s song lyrics in a book of ‘poems’ published under a pen name, Milo Andreas Wagner. He claimed the quoted lyrics was an intentional artistic statement. I can see why Threshold are willing to take a chance on him delivering a book: he will generate a lot of buzz if not actual book sales.

Why would this be a problem? Why not simply boycott the book?

Threshold are an imprint of Simon & Schuster. Regular readers will have noticed I review Simon & Schuster novels because I’m on their list of book reviewers, i.e. if they publish a book they think will interest me, they send me an ARC. The Chicago Review of Books have stated they will not review any Simon & Schuster books this year. I can sympathise with this.

But it makes me uneasy. I am generally in favour of people having the right to say what they think. However, that right does not extend to the right to abuse and bully others. It does not extend to using a platform to attempt to silence others either. I don’t think it helps other Simon & Schuster authors to refuse to review their books, particularly when they’d already signed contracts (books take a long time to publish) and had no say in the signing of Yiannopoulos or chance to renege on their own contracts if they had known about it.

So I will not boycott Simon & Schuster books, providing I think that the ARC is interesting enough to justify a review. Do you think this is the right decision?

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DNA Fingerprinting, a Poem and a potential new Tourist Attraction

When we put a call out for submissions for “Welcome to Leicester”, we expected poems about King Richard III, Leicester City Football Club and areas with personal significance for the poet. While the poems started coming in, I began to write a list of topics I wanted the anthology to include in some way. Topics such as the Shoemakers’ Walk, Suffragette Alice Hawkins, adverts taken out to deter refugees in the 1970s and the contrast with events during Refugee Week and Professor Sir Alec Jeffreys’ discovery of DNA fingerprinting. My list became a series of poems, however, if someone submitted a poem on a topic I’d written about, I put mine to one side and did not put it forward for the anthology.

I was pleased to learn that Leicester City Council, Leicester University and the King Richard III Centre have teamed up to study the feasibility of creating a new tourist attraction to tell the story of Professor Sir Alec Jeffreys’ discovery of DNA and its significance in the clearing the name of an innocent man and providing evidence to identify the murderer, as reported in the Leicester Mercury.

You don’t really get Eureka Moments

“Complicated” became “Eureka”
at 9.05am on 10 September 1984:
I saw genetic fingerprinting.

It started with a chemist’s set
and sulphuric acid burns
leading to me wearing a beard.

After studies, an invite to Leicester
University gave me a lab,
a part-time technician and freedom.

to study human genetic fingerprinting,
disease diagnosis, inheritance
and evolution of genetic variations.

I proved two fifteen-year-old girls
were murdered by the same killer
but not the chief suspect.

I’d cleared a man’s name.
But the killer was still out there.
We continued testing

and looking over our shoulders.
Potentially the murderer knew
where we worked, where our families lived.

The price of my insecurity was £200:
the payment made for a man
to give a blood sample for a colleague

and mask a serial murderer/rapist.
Two hundred pounds.
Until a drink loosened his tongue.

Then the trial of a man,
of forensic DNA.
If it had failed, my work…

The remainder of my poem can be read in “Welcome to Leicester“.

Welcome to Leicester poetry anthology book cover

“Welcome to Leicester” poetry anthology launch

The launch of “Welcome to Leicester” poetry anthology takes place at the African Caribbean Centre, Maidstone Road, Leicester LE2 0UA from 7pm on Friday  7 October. The launch will feature readings from some of the contributors.

Welcome to Leicester poetry anthology launch


Welcome to Leicester poetry anthology book cover

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Over Land Over Sea: Future Dates

Over Land Over Sea poems for those seeking refuge book cover“Over Land Over Sea: poems for those seeking refuge” has now gone into a second reprint. It has also had an extensive review at Sabotage Reviews. New events are listed below:

18 June 2016 11.45am Town Hall Square Leicester

Poems from “Over Land Over Sea: poems for those seeking refuge” will be read by the editors on the acoustic stage during Red Cross’s fundraising events to mark the start of refugee week.

23 June 2016 6-9pm Voiced at the Exchange Bar, Leicester

Contributors and editors will be reading poems from “Over Land Over Sea: poems for those seeking refuge” during Voiced, an evening of spoken word and music at the Exchange Bar.

1 August 2016 from 7.30pm Poetry Cafe, London with Exiled Writers Ink

At the invitation of Exiled Writers Ink, poets from “Over Land Over Sea: poems for those seeking refuge” will reading their work.

1-9 October 2016 Leicester Railway Station Journeys Pop-up Poem Library

ER LogoReading is about sharing stories and making an imaginative journey, ideal to liven a routine commute or inspire on a longer trip. Travelling is an ideal time to read or think of other journeys. To provide inspiration, we will give out postcards from Leicester Railway Station with extracts from poems featured in “Over Land Over Sea: poems for those seeking refuge” (Five Leaves, 2015). The poems are about journeys refugees have undertaken, including historical journeys, to inspire and provoke ideas.


Copies of “Over Land Over Sea: poems for those seeking refuge” are available from Five Leaves.